i am just so frigging fed up with everything that's happening in my life right now, this moment.

i have a bad feeling that i am missing my deadlines for applications now and then! acca class is starting in early july and i have yet to decide or apply for it! i'm 80% inclined towards acca, however i just couldn't get the encouragement and assurance from those whom i trust most. sometimes all i need is just assurance from you to tell me that my decision is right and the fact that you'll support me.

the hard truth is no you guys didnt. neither do i get it from my parents nor my close friends. (except for two of them). my parents are still harping on the fact that i couldnt get into any local uni since the day i failed my application and appeals. they are still disappointed on my results. they are still nagging over this fact. everytime i pick myself up to discuss this matter with them, it will end up in no conclusion.... when yesterday i told them how about taking acca? so was finding for the acca flyer which i took previously (however i have no idea wth it gone to! lost it.) because of that, they say "if you don't have the heart to study, pls do not waste our money"..

i simple just accidentally lose the frigging piece of paper. what's wrong with that. even the suggestion of uol doesn't please them. because of its 4 mth study 8 mths holiday kind of lifestyle. they find its a total waste of money and i wont be consistent in my studies. oh great. so now what? WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO GO?

if money is that important to you then frigging don't give birth to me since i will be very much of an liability to you.

even supper doesn't seem to tempt me now, been sleeping at 11pm these days.

out for dinner - meet friends - go home - hide in my room - under the blanket - sob to bed.

_________________________________________________________

what's worse is i seemed to lost someone who's very important in my life. it just feels different? no longer the same mindset, the same perspective, the same interest, the same topics to chat on, etc.