friday used to be the best day of the week. but somehow friends do suffer the same fate huh?

we talked about it like finally. after many months and days. no i'm not exaggerating but all the while i have no idea whats wrong wit you hormonal changes and all? i don't know. the facts that you laid down for me. i read. it went into my brain. the cells did work. but somehow some of it i beg to differ.

yes i agree and admit to the largest extent that i'm pampered, spoilt, born and lived in a life that my parents been treating me for being the precious little daughter. but hey, shouldnt you know it on the first day you know me? or after so many years of friendship? i know about this flaw of mine. i tried to change for the better and i can swear across my heart, i have changed compared to the past.and of course, i am still learning but i need time. i cant change overnight instantly. its beyond logic. if you hadnt feel the slightest of it, i am afraid thats because you havent open your heart for me. you haven try knowing the actual me.

i understand you are trying to tell me what others say about me. you're just letting me know and conveying those messages to me. so do you believe it? do you take their words? thats my question to you. if so, well, i can say those people achieve their aim of hurting me. and what hurts me most was you didnt choose to put your trust in me. arent friendships about trust? yes they may have the best experience in work, but they do not acquire the full knowledge about me. i'm your friend, the one you known for nearly 3 years... yet those stories from them can pull us right apart. how great. yes those stories were true, i was fast, whats wrong with it.

.... for a moment when you talked to me, i was happy cause you got me a gift for birthday. you did remember. thats when the nightmare started.

on second thoughts, i was thinking so thats what OP is all about. i trusted in them. i accepted them from colleagues to friends. i joke around with them. i laughed and smile from the bottom of my heart to them. i gave them my true self. what did i got in return?

they are so plastic..they are so good at deceiving, quoted a literature phrase i learnt in sec school " daggers in their smiles" and "look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.." yes, now i truly get what it means.

i am in a confusion right now. fix me, please.

on a lighter note, i was glad tomorrow i will be out, away from the troubles.