yepp. i was once just like this girl here. smiling happily and own the sweetest family and friends.[note: nothing's wrong with my family, i still have both loving parents] i'm just reminiscing a particular person who meant alot to me, be it in the past or in the future.

i know my parents are being considerate of not letting me know the truth. but do you know i really wanna know? so what if it makes me worst. at least i've got the answer. i can stop questioning. so... i did something which i shouldnt have done. i went to rummage through my parents documents before they got home, and indeed i saw what i really want. those articles and interviews, those court cases, the person who got off after 4wks..

afterall i failed in overcoming this. i took it upon as my fault to bring this misery to my family. i really wanna let go, but i cant. it never fails to bring tears and memories to me. its just hanging on so tightly to me that i cant breathe and lead my own life.

sometimes, i really thought i need a psychologist.