i have officially graduated from NP as an accountancy student! (:

was really happie and thankful for the support frm parents and girlfriends. will do up a post soon on that.

meanwhile i should start pondering about the issues been avoiding for long. so what should i do next? to work? to take up acca? to pursue a degree in uol? to appeal for local uni and cling onto the thought that will nvr come true?

i left 2 days to online appeals. but which step should i take?

officially got rejected by all three universities. though i already expecting this outcome, when it happens, there's still a need to pluck up courage to face the cruel fact.

perhaps its true that there's no need to cry over spilled milk, but... its still disappointing. i promised that i hold my tears till the very end. and when it drops, its already the limit which i couldn't help it. my brain has so many whys. plenty of them.

why do i work so hard, yet i couldn't achieve what i wanted?
why is it that i can never do my parents proud?
why is it i have to disappoint them again and again?

in my close to 20 yrs of life, i have not accomplish anything that's worth parents to bring it up and be proud of. be it academics - i wasn't even in the dean's list, or top cohorts in secondary school, etc. piano - i didn't even complete the entire course. i gave up halfway as i gave excuses that i am busy with school stuffs. abacus - i left the last degree course to fully complete it.. but i gave up too because i wasn't interested by then.

what more could i ask for? my parents send me for all the extra enrichments that many children were not offered to... yet i let them down all the time.

if you ask me, is university that important? i would say yes, to me. i have never regret taking accountancy these years. its something that make me more aware of economics and the financial market which i totally have no idea on previously. it makes me feel grown up and has more topics for family discussion.

how pro can i be? study until no school wants me. LOL. mommy has been very understanding and all. trying to console me and encourage me on. i know daddy on the surface been giving me advices but deep down, he is disappointed with me. from the tone and the way he says, i can feel it. i know, because i'm his daughter.

perhaps graduation is not something to be proud of? afterall, my results ain't the best out of all.

really appreciated friends who encouraging me on, i know i have to move on in life, and this is perhaps just the first huge setback i have encountered. but its hard to actually achieve this you know brainwashing yourself, telling yourself how happy i should be since i work hard with no regrets and all :/

grant me time.

yesterday was a roller coaster day for me..

thank god everything is fine now. or rather, better. the same old feeling of worrying for someone is scary. i never like that, perhaps no one likes it. the thought of what might happen at the next moment, what's the last thing you did to/with him or her, etc. such flashbacks will naturally come by~

a sigh of relief right now.

that day i actually dreamt girl came back from her holidays 2 days earlier -.-" i miss her too much? :/ that night i called her forgetting the fact that she went for holiday,after nobody picking up the phone, i realised OH, she on holiday hor....

no wonder my house phone is so quiet these days.. but she's coming back tomorrow ^^v

daddy's been pretty busy these days with the budget and wrapping up of accounts for elections and all, one week only 1 weekday and weekends are back for dinner :( i hardly even have time to talk to him cause the moment he's back, he switched on comp to continue his accounts again.

i have yet to find the chance to talk to him about my backup plans. cant he spare some time for me? as such, i will have some random thought that did he still remember my graduation next week....

last year, i watched this drama halfway, and put a stop to it, cause heard that its not much of a good review afterall... since now cable is showing, i kinda got hooked to it! so this vesak day, i spent the day finishing up the drama 'playful kiss' :)

all you have to do is to focus on him HAHA. so cute ^^v

and one thing for sure, is that drama will always be drama, a place of our fantasy ~~

of course not forgetting this awesome ost of theirs:

on my way to work, with the usual habit of plugging in my ipod.. heard this song that i never knew it was inside all along.



and so i'm hooked on it :)

elopie, hope to see you on my grad, even if its just backstage!!!! my prayer works (you get what i mean)

its a very happening weekend thanks to zhiyong who's the first to turn LEGAL :)

few of us spent a really long time planning this whole event, and am glad that it turn out not-too-bad given that ALL of us were present for once. thanks people for all the attendance, greatly appreciated.

so off we goes to "everything with fries @ holland v"

The best group shot ever *squeals*

its a cosy little cafe, good for meetups and all.

cookies & cream birthday cake from bakerzin :)

being accountancy students ourselves, we have to make full us of our knowledge even on birthday! Debit wrinkles, Credit youth! HAPPY 21st!

some lovely shots in the cafe itself!

P.S. sisheng looks unusually cute in the third photo.

chit-chatting & camwhoring session along the roads:

not forgetting, poloroids shots :)

i really love this clique of mine!! true friendships that will last.

lastly, KOH ZHIYONG!

HAAPPPPPIIIIIEEEEEEEEE TWENNNNNTYYYYYY-FIIIRRRSSSTTTT! ^^v

family discussion yesterday was on holiday trips in june.

6-8june: parents heading to genting with third auntie~ reason for trip: mommy got 2 family suites free for genting hotel.

pls note: this trip is WITHOUT me :/ [anyway i also not interested in genting HA]

17-19 june: KL trip with poly clique~ yay! without parents, how happy can i get :)

looks like june's gonna be kinda happening for me!

oh. and please keep dear and her family safe.. she always got this earthquake curse with her :/ lucky she last minute change plans from spain to switzerland, cause spain got earthquake last night! grrs.

screw the globe.

was on a heart to heart convo with mommy yesterday.. and got to realise how much daddy actually involved himself in politics. according to mommy:

during 1991, its also the election year, at that time mommy was few months pregnant with me, however despite this fact, daddy still involved as heavily in politics as in the past. he continues to help out and support which accumulates his achievement today. i understand his joy of helping the residents and his sense of achievement when accomplishing such things that his interest is in. for that, i totally respect him.

i was simply amazed the fact that mommy would actually let daddy spend so much time in it when he should have since she's pregnant... and that explains the case where whenever i tag along with daddy to his constiuency, all his friends will exclaimed that they seen totally how i grew up, from mommy's stomach to today. how far i've grown, etc.

this is something i really didnt know until tonight. i know mommy wanted me to understand how hard dad's life has been and how well he actually manages his time for work, family, friends, politics and volunteering. i been complaining these days that he's spending lesser time with me these days due to elections, now.... i will try to be more understanding.

thank you mommy for letting me know and daddy, i am so proud of you~

feel so lost right after the fact that i'm under opposition hands now.

let's see the results and outcome they can do for the residents. indeed, we now give them a chance to perform, we shall sit back and watch. how well they can actually handle every issue~~

oh wells. there goes my lift upgrading plans, higher house prices, kindergarten, etc.

i shall remain calm and watch how the next five years will go.