i did it again. i had the feeling again. i hate it hate it hate it. but one cant control her/his own heart and mind i guess?

when everything is taking its time to fall back into its own place, i turned the clock back to the very minute.

i have mood swings. something bothering me, and the first person came to my mind is dar which i shared every sorrow and joy with. but since she's busy with work. i couldnt bother her with my so-called un-important stuff. so i looked through my phone list. and end up making a call to you. i wanna know why too.

when i heard different stories about you, i chose to believe them.
when they told me negative points of you, i still chose to believe them.

when they told me thoughts that make me ponder and think, i still listen to them.

when i wanna them to think in my shoes and make a decision, i followed theirs.

perhaps you ask why i dont believe you. why i didnt put trust in you. i did. its just i am easily wavered by friends.

all along, my family and friends have been the one directing my life, when can i learn to lead my own life?

if only life is as simple as 1 2 3...