6 years down the road.. who still reads? I wouldnt have thought one day i will be back here.. 

What is love? What is marriage?

Changing someone to be that someone in your setting? Or simply accepting the person just being who he or she is?

I believe in the latter.

I thought these years things will get better. Who knows we are back to square. We are a mistake somehow. I do not wish to be your puppet in your setting. I should be who i am. I deserved to be happy. 

Its time i pick up my courage and be myself. Be who i always am. Be that bubbly girl that everyone knows. 

有人告诉我，我看起来不开心。早已经失去之前的笑容。

是吗？

Everything seems to be crumpling down.. Friendships, studies, work. I lost the passion I used to have in work. I start to slack a little. My KPI seems to have dropped slightly. 

Studies not on the right track, behind schedule.. Too slow a pace for revision, or rather I have yet to start. Neither did I play a lot too... I just haven master the skill of juggling work n studies :( 

Friendships. Apart. Gone. The ones who were once closest slipped away. Treasuring the ones who stood by me till now. 

I yearn for a hug, a concern and a shoulder to lean on... One thing bf taught me was never bring unhappiness from work home... Well, I know. So I cry silently, didn't want daddy & mommy to worry. I know they dote me a lot.. Especially miss the times we get to spend a lot lot moments together. Can't wait for the family trip in oct, where we can all escape frm work a little, and relax ourselves. 

Thankyou bf for teaching me the hard way so I'm a stronger girl in working society now. If I'm the old self, I should have alr collapse right now. 

Blessed for what I have still. 

i know these 2 years is gonna be a very tough period for myself.. juggling between work, studies, family and friends. i have already seen myself drifting away from alot alot of friends, not because i want to, but already am maximizing out time for everyone i could do so. i'm so tired that i simply just needed rest, both mentally and physically.

the road ahead is tough, and rocky. but i chose this path myself. yeah, accounting might not be my first choice in life, but since i'm in it, i will do my very best to attain my career goal. people been telling me, work is not everything, i should learn to put some work down. but deadlines are flying everywhere. i want to reach the position i aim for myself during my prime age. i want to do my parents proud. i want them to know i can have a career of my own without them worrying for me.

for those who dont understand me, you will when you start a career yourself. and i couldnt care anymore, those who chose to leave and desert me just when i got very less time with you, so be it. true friends will not leave me behind like this. and for these people, i'm grateful for you and your understanding.

working in a society make me grow to know how each friend turn behind you and treat you like strangers. yeah, my heart is broken. but i'm thankful for you to let me know how much i'm worth in you. thats my worth. :/

today we talked about our future aft bond end.... and one question actually stumped me...

你觉得自己适合做 audit 吗?

i dunno how to answer... nobody is suitable for a career ... its everything that happens that shape us to be more align with our career....

she has a passion for dance. she wants to take up dance license to teach. but was forced to take up acca by her dad as dance was deemed to be "no prospect"... i have a similar encounter. i wanted to take up counselling. but my parents too think there's no future... do i really like accounting? but now that i've studies for years, is impossible to give up now. money, youth, time and cost. everything has been buried in there. there's no reason why i should give up now.sigh...

if i chose the other route of taking up counselling, will my life be different now? or perhaps its better that i am in what i am now. or else my life will be such a joke. imagine i'm a counsellor, yet i have tons of problems that i cant even unknot on my own.


end up, we both sigh and said "这就是人生啊！“ 。。。

headed to visit my grandparents today in conjunction with Qing Ming Festival...and most importantly i told my beloved ah ma " 你的孙女毕业了，做工赚钱了。她会学怎么照顾父母，你不用再操心了。"

even after 11 years, i still miss her alot. she's someone who cannot be replaced by anyone. the love and happiness she gave me during my childhood days is so memorable... it all seems just like yesterday.

i know all these years, she's been watching over me right on top... protecting me and loving me using her very special way. 

i'm sorry that 最后你最爱的人伤你最深.....perhaps you wont mind and you will simply pat her saying she's such a silly girl... but i'm still quite affected by it. i love you ah ma. you'll live in my heart forever. 

Been catching up with ppg! Yesterday was hk dim sum hunt followed by our routine photo taking sessions hahaha! 

Times with them alw pass so fast. Le sigh... 

P.s. woots! Boyf reservist ends tmr! :D

This custard bun is the bombz!

#ppg

Our favorite mode! Red lippies!

Fang...... Where our tulip and zoo outing :( 

Honesty speaking, I think I have the most awesome parents who really dote on me and pampered me like a little princess. Yes I don't deny we do have arguments and cold wars for weeks, but the love will not get any lesser. Sometimes I hate them for being over protective of me. I want them to know I'm a grown up girl and know the consequence of every action I do. 

Yet, their small actions of love and concern never fails to melt my heart. They have love me for more than 22 years. From the moment they know I'm coming to this world, they start adding on their love to me. They work hard to give me a comfortable life where I can ask for anything I want, be it satisfying my material needs. I know even I want the stars in the sky, they will scold me for being overbearing but yet till the end, they will pluck them for me. These are my silly parents. They don't show their love on the surface, but the actions tell it all. 

We once got separated in heart for awhile due to some unhappiness matters. It's prolly our first incident to overcome as a family, but I'm relieved we actually pulled through. Because of speaking out our difficulties and unhappiness, we are clearer of our love we have for one another. And in fact become stronger in ties. Though we are still upset over that matter, but we are letting it go. Cause we understand its beyond our control, every individual of us has no direct responsibility for that accident. We pulled through the hard times because of one simple thing - LOVE. 

At this juncture, I don't hope for much, just like other children, hoping my dearest parents will live healthily and happily to witness every important milestones in my life- convocation, first decent job salary, marriage, starting my own family, attaining my goals in life.

Daddy and mommy, I might seem closer to each of you all in terms of certain aspects, but I shared equal love to both of you. I love my family and memories we shared. 

Love you two, till eternity.