Thursday, June 30, 2011

its been a while since i really visited tumblr.

30062011 officially declares the last day of my 3 mth job as an account assistant. i really love the times there. very friendly and helpful colleagues. people whom i have the urge to regard as friends. thankyou.

so my parents have started the xxxx rounds of niam-ing about entering local uni. i guess they will continue to be disappointed on me, look down on me and stuff until i officially graduated from uol. life sucks. looking at my besties shortlisted one by one, yet i'm not the one. this kind of feelings feels awful. yet on another side of me, i'm really happie for their admission from the bottom of my heart. i'm just disappointed with myself. sadded with my achievements (wait. do i even have that?)

forget it. tumblrs is the best :/'

having a wardrobe like this is my dream.

polka dots :D

pretty!

shall learn to deco my nails :)

ice cream is the best times spent with girlfriends.

big ben :D wait for me, i will visit you one day!

which girl wont love roses? i prefer purple ones :)

nom nom~


once my love.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

i am just so frigging fed up with everything that's happening in my life right now, this moment.

i have a bad feeling that i am missing my deadlines for applications now and then! acca class is starting in early july and i have yet to decide or apply for it! i'm 80% inclined towards acca, however i just couldn't get the encouragement and assurance from those whom i trust most. sometimes all i need is just assurance from you to tell me that my decision is right and the fact that you'll support me.

the hard truth is no you guys didnt. neither do i get it from my parents nor my close friends. (except for two of them). my parents are still harping on the fact that i couldnt get into any local uni since the day i failed my application and appeals. they are still disappointed on my results. they are still nagging over this fact. everytime i pick myself up to discuss this matter with them, it will end up in no conclusion.... when yesterday i told them how about taking acca? so was finding for the acca flyer which i took previously (however i have no idea wth it gone to! lost it.) because of that, they say "if you don't have the heart to study, pls do not waste our money"..

i simple just accidentally lose the frigging piece of paper. what's wrong with that. even the suggestion of uol doesn't please them. because of its 4 mth study 8 mths holiday kind of lifestyle. they find its a total waste of money and i wont be consistent in my studies. oh great. so now what? WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO GO?

if money is that important to you then frigging don't give birth to me since i will be very much of an liability to you.

even supper doesn't seem to tempt me now, been sleeping at 11pm these days.

out for dinner - meet friends - go home - hide in my room - under the blanket - sob to bed.

_________________________________________________________

what's worse is i seemed to lost someone who's very important in my life. it just feels different? no longer the same mindset, the same perspective, the same interest, the same topics to chat on, etc.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

safely back from kl trip :) will blog soon on that!

on a side note, relieved to get a reply from j regarding the issue. i actually teared after reading it. i feel much much better.

i start to wonder am i too sensitive or have you really changed? are you the still old person i know of? its scary how someone can influence you so much. it hurts for me to see your transformation.

why not you yourself tell me what to do? :/

Sunday, June 12, 2011

260511 - manling officially graduated :D

parents came along with my four bestfriends - huiling, jess, serene and fang (fang i counted you in, cause i know your heart is with me that day :P)

graduation doesnt come easy. many nights of chiong-ing of projects, mugging like crazy for exams and common tests, last-minute consultation with tutors, quarrels with cliques, etc.. i'm proud to say i enjoy my three years in ngee ann alot, forging new friendships from day one and building them up till now :) i know they are the true friends that will stay with me all the way.

to sisheng: though i only know you after the shanghai trip, am glad for every outing we had together (: your quietness and shyness has definitely put me in a very curious situation to know you more! HAHA. its always good to know someone's staying so near you, hence a mrt or bus mate all the time! have fun in ns and we'll catch up soon!

to stefanny: it's amazing to meet you really! all the way from singapore poly's interview to how we both eventually landed in ngee ann's DPA :) my first friend made in poly! HAHA. the last few semesters of project work and tutorial classes has definitely brought us together closer. all the best in your future plans, and don't forget me when you're in australia or indo! ^^v

p.s. rmb your promise to invite us to your wedding HA!

to qihui: hmms. our friendship is the only one that went through alot of ups and downs. yet we both pull through, didnt we? well, like what you say, its such things that brings us closer.. we both have our very own bad habits and attitudes sometimes, and thanks for tolerating me all the way like how i did for you HAHA. oops. anyway, see you soon for kl trip! you better not be too scared for plane rides and snore loudly in the night, cause i'm not gonna tolerate that definitely! :P

to zhiyong: you're someone very special in my life. i thank you for that. whatever has happened, i hope an ending will put a stop to it. all the best in ns and take care! we'll definitely catch up soon! :)

to chunhui: the cute girl in our clique who has never fails to brighten up my life! thank you for being that sunshine in us! stay cheerful and happy! and we love you much! <3

to denise: i really miss those times we had in primary school when we were really close friends. those days where we play hopscotch, study hard for PSLE together, etc... those were the times. i know we couldn't turn back time to how it was, but am still happy to see you once again in np and know how well you're doing be in now or in the future :) girl, wishing you all the best here, and those memories will always be there and belongs only to us.

to russell: YOU little cheeky boy haha! you'll definitely find that girl that loves you! love the times we bully one another (oops sound more like i'm bullying you most of the time) and gossip about some people (you know who) HAHA. all the best in ns, but before that, we'll catch up soon on 25th! CIRCUS with flap flap and teddy <3

to wilson: thanks for your constant encouragement and advices all the time. it gives me alot of strength and courage to carry on. with the live updates all the time from you, was relieved to know how things go for you in ns. meanwhile, wait for my another round of surprise :) *winks*

to sharon: a postive and passionate girl is what my memory has for you. your passion and determination in handling things is something i truly admire for. all the best in your studies in aussie and we'll catch up as long as you're back :)

to rachie: i've truly seen your changes from secondary school up till today. be it is something i agree with or disagree with, i am glad you always keep us updated of your current lifestyle. shoppings and outings soon okay! I MISS YOU :) and all the best in SIM life.

to aneza: my new neofriend! HAHA. so happy that we're classmates, close friends, jap mates, colleagues (for now).. WOW. so many types of relationships. we're getting complicated girl. HEHE. anyways, love to see you determination in everything you do. that's aneza spirit! all the best in your uk plans and hope everything goes well for it, but DO NOT FORGET ME, the only friend of yours who loves teddys so much :) and i'll take care of the scotland prince!

to lingying and jonathan: love to see how sweet sweet both of you is :) last long and don't forget inviting us to wedding! stay strong in whatever that happens and i know jonathan will protect and love you like how we do! catch up soon! don't MIA liao! HAHAHA <3

to my parents: one sentence - THANK YOU FOR STRENGTH, COURAGE AND ENCOURAGEMENT these 3 years.

to serene & fang: love to talk to you both! despite the fact that fang always bully me :( HAHA! but love the way how april vs october that combi! gossips and outings soon k! thanks for always letting me know i can find you girls 24/7. and serene will still reply me even if her phone can only type ailen language! hehe. LOVE YOU TWO, my two sotong besties! <3

to jess: JAZZY! coming to think of it, its already 13 yrs of friendships we shared! OMG. how long is that. we pull through many hurdles than many others couldn't :) thank you for everything like encouragement in my darkest moments. and keeping every single bear bear i gave you despite the times you move house! HAHA. stay strong in everything happens, and all the best in uni life! LURBB YOU bestie! <3


to huiling: SLOW sotong HI! HAHAHA. i shall keep this short and sweet, so........... just wanna tell you, thank you sister. be it what's gonna happened in the future or something very soon, i hope our sisterhood will remains. HEART YOU DEEP DEEP <3


these are the little angels in my life and i'm thankful for every single one of them. if i've miss you out, i'm sorry. but what you did will definitely leave an impression in my life.

for now, i will start squeezing my brain juice for the next destination.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

spoken to serene about this issue:

but i still clueless of what to do? should i continue to lie and ignore my true unhappiness? or tell them the truth in a stake that things will change?

wait. but things ARE already changing isn't it? if you all have realised.

friendship is a type of relationship. and having to built that relationship take years. yet it is so brittle that i'm afraid i'll be the one that destroys it.

should i or should i not? :/